Romance on family holidays? It can be done

Whilst holidaying as a family the constant connectedness and time together can play havoc on your relationship with your spouse.   We love travelling as a family and each of us bring something unique to each and every experience, however as the adults in the family, we owe it to each other to make it special for us too as we built and connect in our marriage and relationship.  So many dream stealers will tell you it can’t be done to travel with kids and have romance or connectedness with your spouse.  Well they are wrong.

Romance on family holidays?  It can be done.  Read how…

You were two before you were more 

Unless you are part of a blended family, this is true for majority of couples.   Even blended families have reported that in the beginning of a new relationship they needed to focus on just the two of them before integrating into the family and children.  So I mention this point first, because, before any holiday with your family, remember that it was the two of you before you were more. 

Nurture each other’s wishes

Holidaying with your partner can mean compromise and negotiation.  You may not have similar interests and that’s ok.  When planning your holiday, make it fair that each person gets a say in what is planned, what your are doing and what you would like to see.  Perhaps make that list individually and create a top 3 each of non-negotiables.  They may be small.  Your wife may dream of having a coffee and croissant at a Parisian cafe in her favourite dress.  Your husband may want to see a game of soccer whilst in Milan.  Discuss these before hand, work out if you are all participating and enjoy each other’s holiday wish lists.

Grab small moments of time together

Parenting is a full time job, especially on holidays.   There is no school, and bed time routine is often thrown out the window.  If you are able to take advantage of kids clubs whilst in resorts, consider this to allow you some time alone.  If this isn’t possible grab small amounts of time together, and below are some great simple examples. 

First thing in the morning whilst the kids are asleep you can enjoy a coffee in bed.

Have a wine together on the balcony of your hotel whilst the kids watch a movie on the bed,

Hold hands whilst walking around on your holiday. 

Feed the children an early dinner then all attend a nice restaurant for the grown ups to enjoy.  No stress for the children to eat, and mum and dad can experience something different. I know this is not your usual romantic dinner for two – but it is a special outing!

 Send your partner off to do something alone

I  cannot stress how easy and rewarding this can be for both partners.  My husband and I got into this routine very quickly and each of us love having the kids on our own, whilst our partner is doing something they want.  We value just a short time to ourselves.  Something as simple and going out first thing to get coffee’s, a short run around the local park, a sunset photo opportunity whilst the family pick which restaurant to eat at.  It is like an act of kindness you bestow on your partner, therefore quite romantic I think. 

Forget your woes at home

No marriage is perfect and whilst your on holidays it’s not the time to delve into negative and hurtful issues.  If something is bothering you discuss it before you leave and then leave it at home.  Create your own holiday rules (like this article discussed rules with the children) if you feel you need boundaries.  Perhaps you don’t want to talk about work or problems with friends or extended family.  It’s your holidays. Set the rules and focus on your holiday agenda. 

Privacy

If your budget allows opt for self contained apartments, or suites that offer you and your partner your own room.  This privacy will allow you quality time together without feeling like you are always physically close to your children.

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I hope these tips give you and your partner ideas on how to connect whilst your on holidays with your children. 

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